Global warming has become most intractable issue facing by the world leaders. Scientific community deems that there is strong correlation between global warming and changes in climate. Since the industrial revolution, fossil fuels have been used by humans indiscriminately and incalculable of carbon dioxides was given off. The rate of warming in the last 50 years was double the rate observed over the last 100 years. (Holi Riebeek 2007) Skeptics may criticize the global warming as natural phenomenon and the slightly increasing in global temperature will not cause any destructive impact on our planet. However, continuous warnings from venerable scientists and authoritative statistic have shown us global warming is truly happening now and deteriorating at an unimaginable rate. Thus, concerted moves should be taken soon to combat this problem before catastrophic consequence of global warming in term of climate change befallen on humans being.
One of the most significant and direct impact is the rise of sea level. The escalating in global temperature melt the glaciers and ice sheets as well as expand the water volume, leading to rise in sea level. (Chris Woodford 2006) For instance, the Larsen-B Ice Shelf on the Antarctic Peninsula collapsed over 35 days in early 2002, prompted by 3°C of warming since the 1940s. (Holi Riebeek 2007) In the 2007 documentary film, An Inconvenient Truth- a global warming, Al Gore pointed out the global warming contributes to the melting of land-based ice shelf in both poles, especially Arctic icecap and Greenland. If half or whole of the Greenland is melted, most of the low-lying country and coastal city with high population such as Florida, San Francisco, Beijing, and Shanghai will be completely flooded and awash by seawater. Unavoidable, millions of homes and buildings will be demolished and washed away.
Global warming also brings calamitous impacts on human being and ecosystem. Flora and fauna may unable to cope with the sudden climate change and erratic weather pattern quickly enough, eventually end up with extinction. In addition, around 50 percent of breeding habitats for some birds may disappear, threatening the species that depend on plants in Arctic. (Chris Woodford 2006). Plus, coral reefs all over the world are bleaching due to the global warming and causes fish species which rely on coral reef on jeopardy. The rate of species loss is 1000 times larger than the natural background nowadays. On the other hand, global warming also triggers breakout of 30 types of new infectious epidemics in the last quarter of century. There are also resurgent of disease which was once under control such as Asian flu and SARS. For example, on 1999, the West Nile virus had spread throughout the United State due to increased temperature which favors the migration and mobility of vectors. (Al Gore 2007)
In order to arrest the problem to its core, reduction of greenhouse gases emission needs to place at its priority. In case of individual effort, we should use more efficient electricity appliance and end-use efficiency in our daily life, renewable technology, passenger vehicle efficiency, carbon capture and storage technology as well. We can replace the incandescent lamps with energy-saving fluorescent lamps, switch to renewable energy, bicycle, walk, or take the public conveyances instead of using cars, and cut down the using of air conditioner. Besides, it is crucial for government to take place in solving global warming issues. They should gesture their efforts in supporting environmental conservation projects such as Kyoto protocol or has their own acts to deter the issue from even severe.
All in all, global warming is not merely a regional issue, but worldwide. Al Gore had quoted a thought provoking sentences in his talk, “Humanity already possesses the fundamental scientific, technical, and industrial know-how to solve the carbon and climate problems…” (Stephen Pacala and Robert Socolow 2004) Indeed, the solution is on our own hand! We just need to have the substantial determination and consistency in resolving the issue. Without any further hesitation, all the countries should act together to figure out the problem and secure our future before it arose disastrous consequences on our only planet, earth
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ReplyDelete1. Is there a clear introductory sentence that introduces the subject matter and the controlling idea? What do you suggest for improvement if the introductory sentence is not clear?
ReplyDeleteYes, there is a clear introductory sentence that introduces the subject matter and the controlling idea. The writer has clearly discussed the background of the subject matter which is later being reinforced by different evidences.
2. Is there a thesis statement given as the last sentence of the introductory paragraph? Is it clear and connected to all the topic sentences of the body paragraphs?
ReplyDeleteYes, there is a thesis statement given as the last sentence of the introductory paragraph. However, it is not well connected to all the topic sentences of the body paragraphs.
"...consequence of global warming in term of climate change befallen on humans being."(1st paragraph, line 14) [Thesis statement]
"One of the most significant and direct impact is the rise of sea level..."(2nd paragraph, line 1) [Topic Sentence]
Thesis statement presents the consequence of global warming IN TERM OF CLIMATE CHANGE but the next topic sentence states the DIRECT IMPACT of global warming. I personally think that the rise of sea level is not the impact of climate change. It is directly triggered by global warming.
3. Do the paragraphs have sufficient supporting details and examples? How can the organization be improved?
ReplyDeleteYes, the points are very well illustrated and organised. (woohoo~~)
4. Are there any paragraphs which are not supported well?
ReplyDeleteNo, congratulations! :D
5. Are there any sentences or sections that are not clear? If so, how can they be improved?
ReplyDelete"In addition, around 50 percent of breeding habitats for some birds may disappear, threatening the species that depend on plants in Arctic. (Chris Woodford 2006)." (3rd paragraph, line 4)
This sentence is not clear. Why the diminishing of breeding habitats of birds will threaten the species that depend on plants? this sentence can be improved by separating the sentence to two parts and providing relevant reasons.
"...cut down the using of air conditioner..."
(4th paragraph, line 9)
It is recommended to include the ways of cutting down the usage of air conditioner..
6. Does the conclusion summarize all the main points given in the essay or restate the thesis statement? Is it clear? If not, how can the writer improve this part?
ReplyDeleteThe conclusion restates the thesis statement clearly.
7. Does the writer cite the sources adequately and appropriately? Note any incorrect citation.
ReplyDeleteThere should be a comma after the author's name. For instance, (Holi Riebeek 2007) can be edited to (Holli, Riebeek 2007). Oh ya, the author's name is HOLLI, not HOLI. :p
8. Are there any apparent grammatical or spelling mistakes?
ReplyDeleteYes, they are as follows:
-----1st paragraph-----
Line 1: ...THE most intractable...FACED (instead of facing) by...
Line 5:...carbon DIOXIDE...(CO2 is uncountable noun..its plural form should not be followed by 's')
Line 9:...SLIGHT INCREASE...('slightly' is an adverb, usually followed by a verb;'increase' is a noun...but 'increasing' is an adjective..)
Line 11:...STATISTICS...(should be in plural form, I believe that there are many statistics showing the warnings..hehe)
Line 14:...CONSEQUENCES...(there's not only one..right? :D)...HUMAN BEINGS...
-----2nd paragraph-----
Line 2:...the escalating.....MELTS...EXPANDS (subject-verb agreement)
Line 11 & 12:...most low-lying COUNTRIES...coastal CITIES
Line 14:...UNAVOIDABLY...
-----3rd paragraph-----
Line 3:...QUICK enough...
Line 8:...,CAUSING...(erm..i dont know how to explain, but the verb before it is with -ing right???erm..In my opinion, it's better to get rid of the word 'and' in this case.)
Line 12..There IS also resurgent of DISEASES which WERE once...(subject-verb agreement. the subject is resurgent for the front part, while there're more than one diseases being mentioned by the following part of the sentence...)
Line 15:..United STATES...(trivial error, :p)
-----4th paragraph-----
Line 2:...needs TO BE PLACED AT PRIORITY...(erm..sorry that I don't know how to explain it..haha)
Line 13:..HAVE their own acts...(subject-verb agreement)
-----5th paragraph-----
Last line:...it ARISES...(I think it's not a past incident..it's still happening...hehe)
9. Does the writer comprehensively cover appropriate materials available from the standard sources?
ReplyDeleteIf no, what is missing?
Yes!!! Well done man~!
10. Additional comments:
ReplyDelete-----1st paragraph-----
Line 13:...taken AS SOON AS POSSIBLE..(using 'soon' here is a bit weird..)
-----2nd paragraph-----
Line 1:...direct impact of GLOBAL WARMING/CLIMATE CHANGE..(it's better to mention the subject in the first sentence of a new paragraph)
-----3rd paragraph-----
Line 9:....GREATER...('larger' is inappropriate to be used here)
-----4th paragraph-----
Line 1:...problem OF ______...(it's better to mention the problem here...hehe)
Line 10:....to take PART....(I guess you want to say the government has to involve in the issue right?)
Line 13:...from BECOMING even severe...(I think there's word missing between 'from' and 'even'..so..is 'becoming' appropriate???:D)
In a nutshell, this masterpiece of work by Kar Jun is well written. It's obvious that much effort has been put in his work. Good job!