Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Argumentative essay: Television viewing Draft 1#

Television, an innovation which has revolutionized entertainment, communication, education and a host of other industries since it was invented. In developed countries, generally every household have at least one television set (Sharif 1999). Besides, according to American Time Use Survey 2003, US residents spent most of their idle time in watching television as compared to other leisure and sport activities. All the facts reveal that television has become a dispensable device in our daily life. Also,television viewing has become an eristic issue to be disputed. However, I firmly assert that television viewing is disadvantageous for children because it influences the development of thought of children, causes behavioral problems and lead to low grade academic performance.

Firstly, watching inappropriate television programs for continuous time can profoundly influence the development of thinking of children. When children are at the growing phase with great curiosity towards the world, their comportment and notion can be easily affected by the programs they watched. For instance, child development experts argue that television as the primary element leads to violence tendency among children. Vast of graphic scenes relate to violence are screened on the television frequently, even the news. It has gradually instilled a mistaken concept on children that violence is a usual proportion of life and a proper way of tackling problems. Moreover, television programs like ‘Friends’ also express wrong thought and encourage children to think that all problems can be solved effortlessly . As consequence, when they confront intricate conditions in reality, they will be easily overwhelmed by the distress and ended up by giving up (Sharif 1999).

Additionally, over-indulgence in television viewing will trigger the behavioral problems in children as well. If the television becomes the exclusive companion of children, the ramification can be catastrophic. It is not unparalleled cases where children have put on Superman costumes and injured themselves badly by jumping out from high altitude. Disciplinary problems can arise as they imitate character with inferior behavior. Moreover, in many movies, its characters have parochially portrayed with given roles in life, especially men and women. These stereotypes adversely affect children in their behavior towards themselves and others (Sharif 1999).

Lastly, prolonged period of television also contributes to poor academic performances of students. People find it is more fascinating to flick between channels, looking for interesting programs rather than turning the television off. As a result, students neglect of their homework (Rutherford 2002). Educational psychologist points out children who are heavily addicted in television viewing are those students who having poor academic achievement at school (Leigh 2001). In addition, present-day children’s programs and music video clips cause children nowadays having short attention spans as well. Eventually, it leads to children are unable to concentrate in a specific matter for long period, particularly study and homework (Sharif 1999).

All in all, television viewing apparently brings incalculable issues such as behavioral problems, poor academic performance and negative implication on thinking. Although some may argue that there are benefits in television viewing. However, after comparing its pros and cons, solid evidences show that its shortcomings outweigh its benefits. Hence, I strongly assert with my stance that television viewing is detrimental to the viewers

2 comments:

  1. The thesis statement clearly states out the main points of the essays and is well done. Overall, the essay is good with lots of bombastic word and great language. However I think that there are some grammatical errors in the essay. The errors are:
    1. “Television, an innovation which has revolutionized entertainment, communication, education and a host of other industries since it was invented.” This sentence does not have a clear subject and object which make reader blur. I think you should add ‘is’ in front of “an innovation”.
    2. “influences the development of thought of children” in first paragraph. I think that thinking is more appropriate to be used as compared with thought.
    3. “lead(s) to low grade academic performance.” in first paragraph.

    4. “Educational psychologist points out children who are heavily addicted in television” in fourth paragraph. I think ‘that’ should be added in between ‘points out’ and ‘children’.
    5. “it leads to children are unable to concentrate in a specific matter for long period, particularly study and homework” in fourth paragraph. This sentence does not flow smoothly. I think you should change the sentence structure.
    6. “issues such as behavioral problems, poor academic performance and negative implication on thinking.” In last paragraph. I think you should put negative implication on thinking first, followed by behavioural problems and poor academic performance since this is the order of your points in the essays.
    7. “Although some may argue that there are benefits in television viewing.” In last paragraph. This sentence is not complete. You should rephrase the sentence by connect it to the following sentences.

    Nice work, man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. wow..good job! please do the corrections and post draft 2.

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